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MODULE 1: HOW NOT TO DEAL WITH INTRUSIONS ABOUT YOUR EX
How the "Get Out Of My Head" program can help you
Introduction to the "Get Out Of My Head" Program
What's this program about?
Objectives of the modules
Who's this program for?
Objectives for Module 1
Pre-Assessment: Why Can't You Stop Thinking About Your Ex?
Pre-Assessment: The Breakup Adjustment Scale
Pre-Assessment: How much do you engage in rumination?
Pre-Assessment: How much do you experience intrusions?
Pre-Assessment: How is your mood?
How I mended my broken heart!
Why it's not a good idea to remove your ex from your mind
The Pink Elephant: A two-part experiment
Listen to the instructions of Part 1 of the experiment
Listen to the instructions of Part 2 of the experiment
Exercise 1: Your Pink Elephant Experiment
Three reasons why getting your ex out of your head won't work
Avoidance of external triggers
Exercise 2: Identify the triggers of your intrusions
Exercise 3. Quiz. What I know about cognitive avoidance
Conclusion Module 1
Glossary of Terms
Notes Get Out Of My Head
Print Homework for Module 1
Feedback Module 1
MODULE 2: THE NEVER-ENDING THOUGHTS ABOUT YOUR EX
Objectives Module 2
Intrusions: Reliving the past in the here and now
Exercise 1: Quiz. How much do you know about intrusions?
Exercise 2: Identify and describe your intrusions
Exercise 3: Intrusions Daily Record
Rumination as a mental process distinct from intrusions
Exercise 4: Quiz: Do you know how to differentiate rumination from intrusions?
Three types of rumination
Exercise 5: Rumination Daily Record
The 1001 “What ifs” after a breakup: Worries
Exercise 6: Quiz: Can You Differentiate Between Worries, Rumination, And Intrusions?
Conclusion of Module 2
Download and Print: Homework for Module 2
FEEDBACK ON MODULE 2
MODULE 3: A SIX-STEP FORMULA TO MANAGE YOUR INTRUSIONS
Objectives Module 3
How I developed this six-step formula
STEP 1: Can I categorize my thoughts, images, or memories as intrusions, rumination, or worries?
Step 2: Is my intrusion associated with a negative situation or with a happy memory?
Step 3: How do you feel about having a particular intrusion?
Exercise 1: Type of intrusions (positive vs. negative), and emotions that they elicit
Step 4: What is the meaning of my intrusions? Am I having catastrophic interpretations about them?
Exercise 2: What’s the meaning of my intrusions?
STEP 4B: Am I having catastrophic interpretations about my intrusions?
Exercise 3: Quiz: Catastrophic Interpretations I Make About My Intrusions
Conclusion of Module 3
Download and Print Homework Module 3
FEEDBACK ON MODULE 3
MODULE 4: WORKING ON YOUR INTRUSIONS
Objectives for Module 4
Changing the meaning of your intrusions
Step 5: How can I reframe the meaning of my intrusions?
How I modified the meaning of my intrusions
Example 1. How I reframed the three beliefs embedded in intrusion 1
Example 2. How I reframed the three beliefs embedded in intrusion 2
Example 3. How I reframed the three beliefs embedded in intrusion 3
Example 4. How I reframed the four beliefs embedded in intrusion 4
How to successfully reframe the meaning of your intrusions
Exercise 1: Reframe the meaning of your intrusions
STEP 6: Two Techniques To Manage Your Intrusions, Without Having To Reframe Them
Exercise 2: Management of intrusions with the two techniques
Conclusion of Module 4
Download and print Homework for Module 4
FEEDBACK ON MODULE 4
MODULE 5: COGNITIVE TECHNIQUES TO CHANGE YOUR RUMINATIVE THINKING
Objectives Module 5
The post-mortem of a breakup: Rumination
Regret rumination: Types of regrets
What I found in my study about regret rumination
Circumstances associated with self-blame and guilt
Technique 1 to manage guilt and regret rumination
Exercise 1: Quiz. Do You Blame Yourself For the Breakup?
Exercise 2: Ten arguments why you shouldn’t feel guilty and have regrets
Technique 2 to manage guilt and regret rumination
Exercise 3: Ruminating about my regrets helps me ...
Technique 3 to manage guilt and regret rumination
Exercise 4: Changing Your Regrets Into Preferences
Technique 4 to manage guilt and regret rumination
Exercise 5: What available options did I have at the time, and what were the consequences associated with each one?
Anger rumination
Exercise 6: Quiz. Beliefs maintaining anger rumination
Three Cogntive techniques to manage your anger rumination
Technique 1 to manage your anger rumination
Exercise 7: Technique 1. Finding alternative interpretations
Technique 2 to manage your anger rumination
Exercise 8: Technique 2. Transform your Demands or “Shoulds” into Preferences
Technique 3 to manage your anger rumination
Exercise 9: Technique 3. Assume the right amount of responsibility
Ruminating about not understanding the reasons for the breakup
Time to get real about the real outcome of ruminating about the reasons for the breakup
Three techniques to cope with the uncertainty of not knowing the reasons for the breakup
Technique 1 to cope with the uncertainty of not knowing the reasons for the breakup
Exercise 10: Technique 1. Advantages and Disadvantages of learning about the real reasons for the breakup.
Technique 2 to cope with the uncertainty of not knowing the reasons for the breakup
Technique 3 to cope with the uncertainty of not knowing the reasons for the breakup
Exercise 11: Technique 3. De-catastrophize not knowing the reasons for the breakup
Conclusion of Module 5
Download and print homework for Module 5
FEEDBACK ON MODULE 5
MODULE 6: A SIX-STEP FORMULA TO MANAGE YOUR RUMINATIVE THINKING
Objectives Module 6
The six-step formula to manage your ruminative thinking
STEP 1: Am I ruminating, worrying, or both?
Tricks to help you categorize your repetitive thinking
Exercise 1: Write a list of your repetitive thoughts.
Exercise 2: Divide your thoughts into simple beliefs and label them as either ruminative thoughts or worries.
STEP 2: Identify your type of rumination
Exercise 3: Distinguish between your types of rumination
STEP 3: Transform the content of your rumination and worries into statements using the word “should”.
Exercise 4: Identify the "shoulds" for your ruminative thinking and worries
Exercise 5: Quiz: What beliefs maintain your desire to understand the reasons for the breakup?
STEP 4: What can’t you accept about yourself, the breakup, your future, your ex, or others?
Exercise 6: Find out what you can’t accept about all your “shoulds”
STEP 5: What do you need to accept about the situation that’s painful to recognize?
Exercise 7: What I need to accept
STEP 6: Self-talk with what you need to accept, and that’s that!
Exercise 8. Your self-talk with what you need to accept
Conclusion of Module 6
Download and Print Homework Module 6
FEEDBACK ON MODULE 6
MODULE 7: HOW TO MANAGE POST-BREAKUP SOLVABLE WORRIES
Objectives for Module 7
When worries have a solution
The difference between worries with or without a solution
Exercise 1: Transform these original worries into questions using a “What if” format
What are Problem-Solving Strategies?
When are Problem-Solving Strategies not useful?
Seven steps for effective problem solving after a breakup
Example: Problem solving strategy for my breakup
Exercise 2: Problem-Solving Strategies
CONCLUSION OF MODULE 7
REFERENCES
Download and print homework Module 7
FEEDBACK ON MODULE 7
MEASURE YOUR IMPROVEMENT
Post-Assessment: Why Can't You Stop Thinking About Your Ex?
Post-Assessment: The Breakup Adjustment Scale
Post-Assessment: How much do you engage in rumination?
Post-Assessment: How much do you experience intrusions?
Post-Assessment: How is your mood?
FEEDBACK ON "GET OUT OF MY HEAD"