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INTRODUCTION TO THE BREAKUP CURE | |||
How to work with this program to achieve results (15:00) | |||
Notes Introduction Breakup CBT Cure (28 pages) | |||
Structure and Contents of the Breakup Cure | |||
Quiz. Can you benefit from The Breakup CBT Cure? | |||
Understanding the basics of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (16:00) | |||
Notes Presentation CBT (2 pages) | |||
Pre-Program Assessment. What modules do I have to complete? | |||
Pre-Program Assessment. The Breakup Adjustment Scale | |||
Pre-Program Assessment. Your recovery indicators | |||
Pre-Program Assessment. Are you presenting symptoms of depression? | |||
Pre-Program Assessment. Can you forget that your ex exists? | |||
Pre-Program Assessment. Can you cope with the pain of a breakup? | |||
Pre-Program Assessment. How much do you dwell on your breakup? | |||
Pre-Program Assessment. Are you bothered by intrusions about your ex? | |||
Notes: Glossary of terms (5 pages) | |||
MODULE 1: SET YOURSELF FREE | |||
Session 1: Breaking the 007 Bond | |||
First steps to breaking the bond with your ex (9:00) | |||
The price to pay for not breaking the attachment to your ex (6:00) | |||
Your ex: A friend with "no benefits" (10:00) | |||
BONUS: CHECKLIST: FRIEND OR FOE? | |||
Homework. Let's start breaking the emotional bond with your ex | |||
Read these blog posts to help you decide whether to be friends with you ex | |||
Notes Slides Session 1 (14 pages) | |||
Session 2: Cutting your love into pieces | |||
The 8 legs of your attachment (7:00) | |||
Quiz. How many of those legs do you still have to "dissect" to start falling out of love? | |||
Manifestations of being disaffected (3:00) | |||
Quiz. Do You Know If You Have Emotionally Disengaged From Your Ex? | |||
5 behavioural manifestations of falling out of love (8:00) | |||
Quiz. Do You Know If You Have Behaviourally Disengaged From Your Ex? | |||
Homework. Develop An Action Plan To Address The 10 Problematic Areas of Covered In This Section | |||
Download Daily record in Excel: How much do I miss my ex? | |||
Download Daily record in PDF: How much do I miss my ex? (1 pages) | |||
Notes Slides Session 2 (12 pages) | |||
Session 3: Falling out of love ... "on purpose" | |||
5 Cognitive methods for falling out of love (6:00) | |||
Quick Exercise. Find 10 statements counterbalancing the positive view you may have of your ex | |||
Changing positive memories/feelings about your exe and desire for closeness | |||
Quick Exercise. Six Negative Memories About The Relationship | |||
Quick Exercise. Three pleasurable activities to counteract upsetting memories | |||
Quick Exercise. Three Reasons Why You Should Not Desire To Be In Contact With Your Ex | |||
Quick Exercise. Three Reasons Why You Should Not Desire A Reconciliation With Your Ex | |||
Quick Exercise. Self-Talk: Reasons Why You Should Curb Your Enthusiasm About Being In Touch With Your Ex In 5 Lines | |||
Identify any negative views you hold about yourself (4:00) | |||
Quick Exercise. Negative Labels Impacting Your Self-Esteem | |||
Quick Exercise. What I Can Bring Into A Relationship | |||
8 Behavioural methods for falling out of love (7:00) | |||
Homework. Develop A Behavioural Plan To Decrease The Aspects Of Disengagement You Still Need To Improve. | |||
Final Conclusions about Module 1 (2:00) | |||
FEEDBACK ON MODULE 1 | |||
Notes Session 3 (13 pages) | |||
BONUS: 50-MINUTE MASTERCLASS "THE 8 PROVEN WAYS TO GET OVER A BREAKUP" (50:00) | |||
MODULE 2: KEEP THE DISTANCE | |||
Session 4: Identifying your Proximity Seeking Strategies | |||
Cognitive and behavioural proximity seeking strategies (11:00) | |||
Quiz: What Is Your Motivation Behind The Use Of Proximity Seeking Strategies? | |||
Quiz: How Many Behavioural Proximity Seeking Strategies Do You Use? | |||
The price to pay for using proximity seeking strategies (9:00) | |||
Quiz: Do You Use Any Of These Two Cognitive Proximity Seeking Strategies? | |||
Quiz: In What Way Your Proximity Seeking Strategies Have Affected You? | |||
Homework Session 4. Your beliefs underlying the need to use proximity seeking strategies | |||
Notes Session 4 (12 pages) | |||
Session 5: Keeping in contact with your ex | |||
What are Good reasons to be in contact with your ex? (7:00) | |||
Quick Exercise. Do You Have A Good Reason To Keep In Contact? | |||
Quiz. In What Ways Does Keeping Contact With Your Ex Affect You? | |||
Maladaptive contact with your ex (3:00) | |||
Quiz homework: What Beliefs Do You Hold About Keeping Contact If You Have Concluded That Your Level Of Contact Is Maladaptive? | |||
Resources | |||
Notes Session 5 (9 pages) | |||
Session 6. Controlling Unnecessary desires to feel close to your ex | |||
16 Behavioural Techniques To Control Your Desire For Closeness (10:00) | |||
5 Cognitive Techniques To Control Your Desire For Closeness (5:00) | |||
Quiz Homework. Cognitive Behavioural techniques to eliminate proximity seeking strategies | |||
25 What ifs! (22:00) | |||
Final conclusions about Module 2 (3:00) | |||
FEEDBACK ON MODULE 2 | |||
Notes Session 6 (28 pages) | |||
BONUS: WORKBOOK THE LOVE SEARCH ENGINE (69 pages) | |||
EBook. Give The Boot To Your Loneliness (63 pages) | |||
MODULE 3: CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR! | |||
Session 7. Are you sure you want to reconcile? | |||
Some statistical facts about reconciliation (6:00) | |||
Quiz: What’s The “Overall” Likelihood Of Having A Successful Reconciliation 1 Year After A Breakup? | |||
Is Your Expectation of Reconciliation Realistic? (6:00) | |||
Quick Exercise: What Are The Signs That Your Ex Does Or Doesn’t Want A Reconciliation? | |||
Article Blog: 14 Signs Your Ex is Over You and Doesn’t Want You Back | |||
Quiz Homework. How realistic is your expectation of reconciliation? | |||
Notes Session 7 (8 pages) | |||
Session 8. How is the desire for reconciliation maintained over time? | |||
Maladaptive Beliefs mantaining your desire for reconciliation (9:00) | |||
Quiz Homework Session 8. Identify your maladaptive beliefs about desiring a reconciliation | |||
Quiz . Mixed Signals Scale | |||
Notes Session 8 (6 pages) | |||
Session 9. Managing your desire for reconciliation | |||
Cognitive Technique 1 to 5 to manage your desire for reconciliation. (8:00) | |||
Cognitive Technique 6 and 7 (9:00) | |||
Cognitive techniques 8 to 10 (4:00) | |||
Cognitive techniques 11 to 15 (7:00) | |||
7 Response Prevention methods to stop the desire for reconciliation (8:00) | |||
4 behavioural methods to reduce your desire to reconcile (6:00) | |||
Quick Exercise: A Sentence That Captures The Worst That You Ex Told You As The Reason/s To End The Relationship | |||
Quiz Homework. Cognitive Behavioural Techniques to Stop Desiring a Reconciliation | |||
Daily Record Homework Session 9 (1 pages) | |||
Final conclusions about Module 3 (3:00) | |||
FEEDBACK ON MODULE 3 | |||
Notes Session 9 (18 pages) | |||
BONUS: WORKBOOK UN-JEALOUS YOURSELF (60 pages) | |||
BONUS: HOW TO COPE WITH ANXIETY AND WORRY WITH PROBLEM-SOLVING STRATEGIES | |||
PROBLEMS WITH OR WITHOUT SOLUTION | |||
When worries are unsolvable | |||
The process to disect a worry into sections | |||
Exercise. Transform these original worries into questions using a “What if question” format | |||
Download exercise from the previous section | |||
PROBLEM-SOLVING STRATEGIES - WHAT THEY ARE AND WHEN THEY MAY NOT WORK | |||
Video: Problem-Solving Strategies (25:00) | |||
What are problem-solving strategies? | |||
When are Problem-Solving Strategies not useful? | |||
THE 7-STEP PROCESS OF PROBLEM-SOLVING STRATEGIES | |||
Seven steps for effective problem-solving after a breakup | |||
Example: Problem solving strategy for my breakup | |||
My breakup example (8 pages) | |||
RESOLVE YOUR PROBLEM | |||
Exercise: Problem-Solving strategies | |||
Download the form "Problem Solving Strategies" (7 pages) | |||
CONCLUSION | |||
Final conclusions about Problem-Solving Strategies | |||
MODULE FOUR: RUNNING ON THE SPOT! | |||
Session 10: Identifying your avoidance strategies | |||
Types of avoidance (9:00) | |||
Who's more likely to engage in avoidance and safety behaviours? (6:00) | |||
Quiz: What Do You Avoid? | |||
Quick Exercise. My Safety Behaviours | |||
Quiz Homework. What Beliefs Do You Hold About The Need To Use Avoidance? | |||
Notes Session 10 (7 pages) | |||
Session 11: Adaotive vs maladaptive avoidance | |||
Are there good reasons to engage in behavioural avoidance? (8:00) | |||
Quiz. Do You Have Good Reasons To Engage In Behavioural Avoidance? (Healthy Avoidance) | |||
What’s the price of using Avoidance? (4:00) | |||
Why is cognitive avoidance maladaptive? (4:00) | |||
Homework. What Evidence Do You Have That Your Avoidance Is Either Adaptive Or Maladaptive? | |||
Notes Session 11 (14 pages) | |||
Session 12: Dealing with cognitive and behavioural avoidance | |||
Treatment for avoidance: Exposure (11:00) | |||
4 rules of exposure (imaginal or in vivo) (6:00) | |||
How can you create a narrative for imaginal exposure? (4:00) | |||
What to do once the narrative is done? (4:00) | |||
Quick Exercise. Are You Afraid Of Exposure? (Optional Exercise) | |||
What a narrative looks like! (5:00) | |||
Quiz. Which Narrative Is Not Working? | |||
What can go wrong with exposure? (5:00) | |||
Troubleshooting your imaginal exposure | |||
Homework 1. My Narrative | |||
Homework 2. Hierarchy of fears | |||
Exposure Record to complete Homework 2 (1 pages) | |||
Final conclusions about Module 4 (2:00) | |||
FEEDBACK ON MODULE 4 | |||
Notes Session 12 (20 pages) | |||
MID-PROGRAM ASSESSMENT | |||
What modules do I still have to complete? | |||
The Breakup Adjustment Scale | |||
Your recovery indicators | |||
Are you presenting symptoms of depression? | |||
Can you forget that your ex exists? | |||
Can you cope with the pain of a breakup? | |||
How much do you dwell on your breakup? | |||
Are you bothered by intrusions about your ex? | |||
BONUS: THE DATING TREASURE BOX | |||
Resource Pack: The Dating Treasure Box (66 pages) | |||
MODULE FIVE: REGRETTING THE PAST! | |||
Session 13: Guilt, your unfriendly whip | |||
How guilt develops (9:00) | |||
Other perceptions magnifying the sense of guilt (4:00) | |||
Quiz. Do You Blame Yourself For the Breakup? | |||
It’s my fault, isn’t it? Understanding guilt and self-blame cognitions (6:00) | |||
Homework. Thought Record to identify your guilt-related triggers | |||
Notes Session 13 (9 pages) | |||
Session 14: The marks of the whip | |||
Who is more likely to get stuck in guilt? (5:00) | |||
Excuse me…how much does a bag of guilt cost? (3:00) | |||
Quick Exercise. List Your Regrets | |||
5 behavioural techniques to manage maladaptive guilt (7:00) | |||
Homework. A Plan To Stop Any Maladaptive Behaviour Maintaining Your Guilt | |||
Notes Session 14 (12 pages) | |||
Session 15: Put your guilt into reverse gear! | |||
Cognitive techniques to reduce your sense of guilt, self-blame, and regret rumination (Techniques 1 to 5) (9:00) | |||
Homework. Practise your human rights | |||
Cognitive techniques to reduce your sense of guilt, self-blame, and regret rumination (Techniques 6 to 11) (7:00) | |||
Quick Exercise. 10 Arguments So As Not To Feel Guilty | |||
Quick Exercise. Ruminating About My Regrets Will Help Me…. | |||
Cognitive techniques to reduce your sense of guilt, self-blame, and regret rumination (Techniques 12 to 17) (9:00) | |||
Download Responsibility pie in Excel (File and Make A Copy) | |||
Responsibility pie in PDF (1 pages) | |||
Quick Exercise. Different Decisions I'll Make In The Future To Learn From This Breakup | |||
Quick Exercise. Changing Your Regrets Into Preferences | |||
Cognitive techniques to reduce your sense of guilt, self-blame, and regret rumination (Techniques 18 to 21) (6:00) | |||
Quick Exercise. What I didn't know then ... | |||
Quick Exercise. What Alternatives Did I Have and What Would've The Consequences Been Of Such Alternatives? | |||
Cognitive techniques to reduce your sense of guilt, self-blame, and regret rumination (Techniques 22 to 24) (8:00) | |||
Quick Exercise. Changing Your Labels Into Decisions or Behaviours | |||
Homework 1. Choose 10 Cognitive techniques and apply them to the main regret you have | |||
Homework 2. Challenging belief: "I have let my children down" | |||
Homework 3. Challenging belief: "I've caused my ex terrible pain and he/she won't be able to cope" | |||
Homework 4. Challenging belief "I am a bad person for leaving my partner" | |||
Final conclusions about Module 5 (4:00) | |||
FEEDBACK ON MODULE 5 | |||
Notes Session 15 (16 pages) | |||
BONUS: BEHAVIORAL ACTIVATION FOR DEPRESSION | |||
Manage your symptoms of depression with Behavioral Activation (40 pages) | |||
BONUS: THE NEW YOU, VERSION 2 | |||
Workbook. The New You, Version 2 (145 pages) | |||
MODULE SIX: NAVIGATING THROUGH AN UNFAIR WORLD | |||
Session 16: Getting to know your enemy | |||
Differentiating between anger feeling, anger expression, and anger rumination (10:00) | |||
Who or what is making you angry? (14:00) | |||
When it’s more likely to develop anger (2:00) | |||
Themes associated with anger (6:00) | |||
Homework. Find the anger theme | |||
Notes Session 16 (14 pages) | |||
Session 17: The invisible face of anger | |||
Anger rumination is not harmless (5:00) | |||
Quiz. Beliefs maintaining anger rumination | |||
Beliefs maintaining anger feelings (15:00) | |||
Quick Exercise. Identify Your Demands (Should's) | |||
Homework. Identify Your Anger-inducing Beliefs For 3 Or More Anger-provoking Situations | |||
Notes Session 17 (7 pages) | |||
Session 18: Quieting the mind that won't shut up | |||
17 techniques to reframe anger-inducing beliefs (techniques 1 and 2) (5:00) | |||
17 techniques to reframe anger-inducing beliefs (techniques 3 to 7) (5:00) | |||
17 techniques to reframe anger-inducing beliefs (techniques 8 to 10) (8:00) | |||
17 techniques to reframe anger-inducing beliefs (techniques 11 to 15) (9:00) | |||
Example of a dysfunctional and healthy self-talk | |||
17 techniques to reframe anger-inducing beliefs (techniques 16 and 17) (10:00) | |||
Examples of challenging anger-inducing beliefs and anger rumination | |||
Homework. Challenge At Least 3 Beliefs Maintaining Anger Rumination | |||
Final conclusions about Module 6 (3:00) | |||
FEEDBACK ON MODULE 6 | |||
Notes Session 18 (16 pages) | |||
BONUS: STOP THE BULLSHIT | |||
RESOURCE PACK. Stop The Bullshit (43 pages) | |||
MODULE SEVEN: I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY! | |||
Session 19: No need to understand everything to be happy | |||
The impact of not knowing the reasons for the breakup (7:00) | |||
Quick Exercise. Cost-benefit Analysis Of Wanting To Know The Reasons For The Breakup | |||
Your ex’s beliefs for not giving you any reason (4:00) | |||
Your ex’s beliefs give you only a vague reason (10:00) | |||
Quick Exercise. If Any Of These Were The Reasons Your Ex Broke Up With You…Would You Have Liked To Know? | |||
Quiz Homework. Which Beliefs Are Your Ex Likely To Have? | |||
Notes Session 19 (24 pages) | |||
Session 20: Legitimate vs. ambiguous reasons for a breakup | |||
Legitimate vs. Ambiguous reasons for a breakup (reason 1-8) (7:00) | |||
Legitimate vs. Ambiguous reasons for a breakup (reason 9-15) (6:00) | |||
Quiz. Were There Any Signs Of These Situations For Your Ex? | |||
What did I do wrong? Do you really want to know? (7:00) | |||
Short Exercise. Do You Really Want To Know? | |||
Notes Session 20 (11 pages) | |||
Session 21: Coping with uncertainty about the reasons for the breakup | |||
Uncertainty reduction: 8 goals for understanding the reasons for the breakup (10:00) | |||
What’s achievable then? (2:00) | |||
Quiz. Your beliefs about the need to know the reasons for your breakup | |||
Worry exposure for the fear of not ever knowing the reasons for the breakup (9:00) | |||
How to create a worry exposure to accept that you may never know the reasons (5:00) | |||
What to do once the narrative for worry exposure is done? (6:00) | |||
Troubleshooting your imaginal exposure | |||
Homework 1. My Narrative About Never Understanding The Reasons For The Breakup | |||
What strategies (cognitive or behavioural) maintain the need to know? (4:00) | |||
Quick Exercise. Letter/ Script To Ask The Right Questions To Your Ex To Find Out The Reasons For The Breakup | |||
Quiz. What Of These Maladaptive Strategies Do You Use? | |||
Cognitive restructuring: 9 Techniques to Reframe your maladaptive “need to know” (11:00) | |||
Homework 2. Self-talk On How To Eliminate The Need To Know The Reasons For The Breakup | |||
Final conclusions about Module 7 (2:00) | |||
FEEDBACK ON MODULE 7 | |||
Notes Session 21 (25 pages) | |||
BONUS. RELAX FROM THE INSIDE | |||
Resource Pack. Relax from the Inside (31 pages) | |||
MODULE EIGHT: MANAGE YOUR INTRUSIONS! | |||
Session 22: Understanding why intrusive thoughts/memories are so distressing | |||
Psychoeducation on common reactions to a breakup (13:00) | |||
Quiz Homework. Do You Understand Your Intrusions? | |||
Notes Session 22 (6 pages) | |||
Session 23: Grounding techniques: Staying in the here and now | |||
Grounding techniques (1 to 3) (5:00) | |||
Grounding techniques (4 to 14) (6:00) | |||
Grounding techniques (15 to 20) (8:00) | |||
Protocol of Thought Field Therapy for distressing memories | |||
Graph with points where to tap on your body for Thought Field Therapy | |||
Demonstration of Thought Field Therapy | |||
Quiz Homework. Select as many grounding techniques you intent to use during the next two weeks.... | |||
Notes Session 23 (13 pages) | |||
Session 24: Working on distressing intrusions | |||
Addressing other problematic areas (8:00) | |||
4 rules to apply imaginal exposure successfully (5:00) | |||
How to create a imaginal narrative for a breakup? (4:00) | |||
What to do when the narrative is done! (4:00) | |||
Quiz. Which narrative is not working? | |||
What a narrative looks like! (5:00) | |||
Example of an imaginal exposure narrative (4 pages) | |||
Homework 1. Your Narrative about the most upsetting Intrusion | |||
Scared of doing imaginal exposure? (5:00) | |||
Troubleshooting your failed imaginal exposure | |||
Quiz Homework 2. What interpretation do you make of your intrusions? | |||
Final conclusions about Module 8 (4:00) | |||
FEEDBACK ON MODULE 8 | |||
Notes Session 24 (19 pages) | |||
RELAPSE PREVENTION AND POST-PROGRAM PROGRESS | |||
What's your overall progress? | |||
The Breakup Adjustment Scale | |||
Your recovery indicators | |||
Are you presenting symptoms of depression? | |||
Can you forget that your ex exists? | |||
Can you cope with the pain of a breakup? | |||
How much do you dwell on your breakup? | |||
Are you bothered by intrusions about your ex? | |||
Your Relapse Prevention Plan to maintain the gains | |||
FINAL FEEDBACK ON THE BREAKUP CBT CURE |